Heal Me
by Hayley Nichole Williams
Summary: Ever since the accident happened, not a sound has escaped my mouth. But when Dr. Urie shows up at the hospital, maybe I have some hope of getting better. Brendon Urie/OFC fic.
1. Chapter 1

A room made up of nothing but big white walls. An eerily silent room, where not even I was allowed to make a noise. Barely anyone came in here, unless it was to give me the one meal that I wouldn't even touch.

My condition wasn't the best since I'd entered the mental hospital. Apparently I was too mentally unstable to live independantly, so they locked me in an isolated room to keep an eye on me. I wasn't allowed to do anything by myself, I was always being watched in case I did something "dangerous" to myself or one of the workers there. I attacked a doctor once because he was being incredibly rude and nasty to me; I can't talk so I had to do something other than verbally abuse him...

"She's only getting worse. Ever since she's been here her physical and mental health hasn't improved," said one of the doctors as she entered the room, "The doctors say that she's got anorexia and a severe case of schizophrenia. We make sure she takes her medication every morning and evening, it helps with the hallucinations and the little "voices" inside her head."

I couldn't remember the name of this female doctor, but she knew my name, and she'd come and see how I was doing every day. There was never one doctor alone since I'd shown violent behaviour, there was always two, obviously so if anything happened there'd be help.

"You say that your main priority is to make your patients healthy and happy," said the man doctor beside her. I'd never seen this man before, so he must have been a new doctor at the hospital.

"It's nothing but the truth. The majority of our patients here are happy. This girl is better off here than she is alone, believe you me," she said, looking through some paper attatched to a clipboard she held in her hand.

"Yes, but just because she's better off here, doesn't mean that she's happy," said the man, clicking his tongue as he looked at me disapprovingly.

I lifted my head up from the ground and looked at him bleakly. He had dark brown hair and chocolate colored eyes. His lips were a natural and pretty pink, and his nose was strange but cute. He wore black, thick rimmed glasses that made him look like a real nerd, or a scientist or something, not really a doctor.

"Uh, yes I shall keep that in mind Dr. Urie, but you mustn't question the way we run things here," said the female doctor nastily, "You're merely here to work, not to edit our ways of treatment."

If I could force myself to talk, I would have told her to shut her mouth and that I was far from happy here in this prison, but unfortunately that wasn't going to happen too soon.

"Are you happy here, Doll?" Dr. Urie asked.

I stared at him blankly. I couldn't remember how to answer him. I didn't know the answer at all. Maybe that's all I was. Maybe I couldn't talk because they'd just turned me into a doll. Maybe I was just a puppet, a guinea pig for their ways of "treatment".

"She's the silent type," said the woman, "Hasn't spoken a word since she arrived three months ago. She's physically assaulted a doctor during a check up. He ended up in hospital with a severe concussion."

"Well did you ask her why?" Urie asked her.

"There was no need to ask her. We already heard the story from the doctor. He was checking up on her and she attacked him for absolutely no reason at all."

"Well how do you know that?"

"Because we asked her if that's what happened and she didn't object, now no more questions Dr. Urie!"

"That's because she CAN'T object!"

"Dr Urie, this is none of your business so just stay out of it. Whatever happens to this girl in the future is your issue, but not what has happened in the past. Okay, so I've shown you around the entire hospital, your office is upstairs, where I showed you and if you need any more help just ask another doctor, okay?"

"Alright then. So is there a schedule that she follows or something?" he asked.

"I pinned your schedule above your desk. There's staff meetings every night after dinner. The schedule between breakfast and dinner is empty for you and this one. Therapy sessions are up to you to decide, but most of the doctors here say it's best to leave her alone because she doesn't want help the majority of the time. You can't help those who don't want it, Dr. Urie," the woman said, glaring at me. Let's just say this woman and I weren't exactly on friendly terms, "She's rarely allowed out of her room unless it's to go to the bathroom, but if you wish, there are art rooms and things, as you saw. She eats her meals inside her room. She's too dangerous to be around any of the other patients without constant supervision. She's not allowed to listen to music etc. etc. There's a list of rules on your desk, so just read through them before you do anything with her."

"Okay..." he said bleakly.

"I'll see you after dinner," she said, "You can sit with her for a while, but then you have to read the rules and regulations. Goodbye."


	2. Chapter 2

"Okay, I have an idea. Let's learn about each other, okay? I know you can't really tell me about yourself, but I'll ask you some yes or no questions and you can answer that way. Nod for yes and shake your head for no. Is that okay?" Dr. Urie asked.

"Do you know your name?"

I shook my head sadly. Something had happened to me before I came to the hospital. Something that I couldn't even remember. Maybe it was because I didn't want to remember. Just like my name. I couldn't remember my name and I wasn't sure I really wanted to remember it.

"Alright, that's okay. I'm just going to call you Doll for now is that okay?"

I nodded my head even though I wasn't entirely okay with it. But I guess having a name, even something like Doll, would give me some sense of belonging. I stared at the ceiling , avoiding any eye contact with Dr. Urie. Looking into someones eyes was a phobia of mine. It brought back such bad memories, so I always looked up, or down, anywhere away from someone's eyes.

"My name is Brendon. I haven't been a doctor for very long. I'm 24 years old. Are you younger than 24?"

I nodded my head. I just wished I could force myself to talk to this man. In the past three months he was the only one who'd bothered trying to communicate with me. But there was just something in my mind that just wouldn't allow me to make a noise. The only noises I could make were screams, and that would probably only happen if I was being killed or something.

"Are you 20 years old?"

I shook my head. I wasn't quite 20, but it wasn't as if I could tell him that...

"Well then, are you 19?"

I nodded my head. I was turning 20 in a few weeks. I had heard that the hospital had the month and day of my birth, but not the year. There was no-one to contact to get any information about me, so they just had to get what they could from me writing the things I could remember. My birthday wasn't very important to me anymore. It wasn't as if anyone was going to celebrate it anyway. And what was the point of age in a place like this anyway?

"Oh, I see. You're going to be 20 soon then. That's pretty good, I'll be here for your birthday. Too bad the security here is pretty tight. Maybe I can try and get you out of this place for a day, hm?"  
>I lifted myself up into a sitting position. My back was getting sore from lying down on the hard ground. I glanced quickly at his face before looking at the ground again. I didn't answer this time. I didn't know.<p>

"Were you born mute?"

I shook my head.

"I see. So it was after the accident you stopped talking. According to the other doctors you make some noise in your sleep. Maybe it's your conscious mind that isn't letting you speak. Your unconscious mind isn't as aware as your conscious mind, so obviously it allows you to talk," he said matter-of-factly.

I stared blankly at him, not at his eyes, but just at him. I hit my head lightly against the wall I was leaning against. I couldn't feel anything anymore. Brendon wasn't going to change anything, no matter how hard he tried.

"Listen. We're gonna spend a lot of time together here. I don't believe you need to be here, but according to the people who run this place, you do. It's going to take a lot of time to get you better. And I mean better by their standards, which is apparently going to take quite some time. If you don't get better, you'll be here 'til the day you die. We might as well be friends seeing as we're going to spend the rest of our lives together," Brendon said angrily.

I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with anyone. Unless I was going to die tomorrow, then I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with him. But I wanted to be alone. I didn't want to eat, I wanted to sleep... if only someone left me alone enough for me to die.

"I'm sorry, Doll. I just don't like the way they treat you. I don't want you to think I'm going to be like all those other doctors. Unlike them, I actually care about your health. You don't deserve this. No-one deserves this," he said so quietly it was almost a whisper.

I nodded my head to show I understood. I might not have had a voice, but I had a heart, and I knew by the sound of his voice that his was true. He wasn't just making up random bullshit on the spot. He actually did care. And that earned my respect.


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next few days, Brendon and I got to know each other. Not once did I even attempt to say a word. By that time, he knew everything about myself that I knew, and I knew a decent amount of information about him, like his family and his home city and pets... but somehow he still wanted to know more. He kept pressuring me to remember things, but I couldn't, and that lead to both of us being extremely frustrated.

I was sitting alone in my room when that mean lady came in beside Brendon. I got off my bed and onto the floor and sat back against the wall. For some reason I felt safer on the floor than I did on my bed...

"I told you to stop trying with her," said the lady, "She's an emotionless little brat. And I doubt that she'll make any progress any time soon."

"You don't know her like I do. She's improving already, I swear," Brendon said to her, "You just need to be gentle."

"Don't give me advice on my area of expertise, Dr. Urie," she snapped, "Now, I'm only here to in to inform you that she'll need to go to the medical center next week on Friday."

"What for?"

"Well, our doctors have been experimenting and they think they have a more permanent solution for schizophrenia. They're not sure whether or not it will work. But for the next week she's to have no medication. The images and voices will come back to her and she'll feel bad for a little while, but after the injection she might feel a little better."

"And what if she doesn't feel better?"

"She'll go back to her original medication if she survives," said the lady.

"But... if she survives? You can't do this! You can't put her in such danger! Your priority is to take care of the patient's, not use them as experiments!" Brendon shouted angrily.

"Dr. Urie, compose yourself, please. I'm going to leave to talk to the doctors who will be giving her the injection. If you continue acting like this, you'll be out the job. Farewell," and she left.

"Fuck," Brendon muttered once the lady had closed the door behind her.

I wanted to say it was okay, but I couldn't. I knew that in a few days I'd be insane again. I knew that it would go back to the constant echoes of my screams bouncing off the walls of my empty room. But it wouldn't be empty to me. It would be full of demons, bringing back my horrible past, and that horrible accident.

"They can't hurt you... I won't let them," Brendon growled. He was almost crying tears of anger, "I won't let them hurt you, Doll. I'm going to get you out of here, no matter what it takes."

I sat and wondered why. I wondered why he was so protective over me when we'd only met 5 days before. It confused me, and I didn't have the power to ask him why he was acting like that.

"C'mere Doll," Brendon said sadly.

I didn't move.

"Please?"

I slowly got to my feet and cautiously walked towards him. He was a strange specimen indeed. When I reached him, he threw his arms around me. I stood still, not hugging him back. I couldn't remember the last time that I had hugged someone. He was strangely warm, and my heart pounded fast as he squeezed me tightly. Slowly, and eventually, I weakly wrapped my arms around his waist, in hopes it would make him feel better.

"I don't want to lose you... not again," he whispered.

What do you mean? I thought to myself. Hoping that maybe he'd hear me. He slightly pulled away and looked into my eyes with a look of sadness. He looked into my eyes as if he were looking into my soul, but he turned away as if he were shut out by the walls that keep my feelings hidden.

"Your... amnesia... it's frustrating me. I'm sorry I always get so angry. But you'll understand someday. Someday when you remember," he sighed.

Looking at him now, so close to me, so sad looking, I honestly didn't know what to do. My heart felt funny and was telling me to do something, but what that something was, I wasn't sure of. I wanted to move closer to him but I wanted to pull away and run to the corner of my room.

"I don't believe what the other doctors say. They say you have no emotion. It's not that you don't have any emotion, it's that you just don't show it," he smiled weakly, "There's hope for you, baby. Don't let them tell you other wise."

I nodded my head and hugged him tightly. I buried my face into his chest. He wanted to protect me from those monsters. He wasn't like them. He was nothing like them. He knew I wasn't as bad as they made me out to be. He understood me. And just for that, I was willing to be his friend.

I looked up at him as he looked down at me. Our faces were merely an inch apart and the space between us was closing...

I pulled away and tried to run away to the corner of my room, like I'd originally planned, but I slipped along the way and landed on my hand strangely. A sharp pain shot up my arm and I weakly scrambled under my bed before Brendon could catch me.

"Doll, I'm sorry," Brendon said, looking underneath my bed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get that close. I'm sorry. Please. Come out. Are you hurt?"

I nodded my head, but not a single tear came from my eyes.

"Come out honey and I'll make it better," he beckoned, "Please, please forgive me. Just let me help you."

I shook my head. It didn't hurt too bad, I just jarred it, and there was no way I was coming out. Not after he almost kissed me...

"I'm sorry, love," he said in almost a whisper.

Brendon got back onto his feet and slowly walked out, leaving me behind. When he closed the door behind him I crawled out from under my bed and leaned against the wall. I almost felt like crying, but not quite. It took a lot to make me cry those days. I sat there for a moment before slowly drifting off to sleep...


	4. Chapter 4

The days passed all too quickly, and it was already two days until I had to go to the medical center. I hadn't had my medication in 5 days and everything was starting to come back to me, all of the screaming and the loud noises. It was all so much that I couldn't even tell what was going on.

It was Brendon's last chance to see me before the medical appointment, because apparently isolation would help calm me before they begun the process. Which in my books was far from the truth, because there was nothing more I hated than being alone. I preferred to be alone than be with the doctors (they were pretty much the same thing), but I prefered to be with Brendon than be alone. Especially with the state I was in.

I was sitting all alone, staring around the room, waiting for an attack. Just when I'd thought I was safe from it, it attacked me, so much screaming, so much noise is was deafening me. But that wasn't possible, was it? It might not have been real, but if you could feel it for yourself, hear all of the commotion and the noises then you'd think it was real, and you'd know the head-ache it gave me afterwards.

Soon enough my own screams were mixed with those in my head. Everything had gone black, the room around me was burning, black and singed, I could smell smoke. My screams got so loud it hurt my throat, but I couldn't stop. I just wanted to be saved. I wanted to run and save my mother, and my father and my brother, and my grandparents, everyone...

"Doll! Doll! It's alright! Shh! Hush, it's okay! I'm here, I'm here, it's not real, Doll," Brendon said as he rushed into the room. He lifted me up into a sitting position and hugged me tightly, "Doll, it's okay. It's okay. It's me, it's Brendon. Just relax. Shhh."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and whimpered (though I hadn't actually been able to whimper for a long time). Help me, help me, please save me, I thought, squeezing him tightly. Everything was turning upside down, everything in my mind seemed so real, and Brendon was starting to feel like an illusion.

Brendon, Brendon please help me, I said in my mind.

"I... I could have sworn you just said my name," Brendon said sadly, "It's alright honey, it's going to be okay, I promise. Good girl... It's alright, I'm here for you. Just hold me, okay?"

I cried into his shoulder. I hadn't shown my emotions in months, not to anyone, not even to myself. But this was all too much. All of my bad emotions, breaking down that wall I held up to keep people out, spilling out all of my feelings...

"Doll... I can't do this... I can't let them do this to you. It's not fair. They're not giving you the right help you need. I'm... I'm... -"

"Mr. Urie, I'm afraid there's been some complications. Records show that you've had quite the history with this one," said the lady, who had obviously come in during my crying and whimpering, "Elementary School, Junior High, and High School buddies. Two year levels above her even though you're four years older than her."

Brendon's jaw dropped as he stared at the angry looking lady. She was reading a sheet full of writing and a picture of Brendon...

"It appears that when she was 16 and when you were 20, you both ran away together, claiming that you were to be married. This one... she missed her family too much, so she convinced you to let her go back," she smirked, "Young love. Doesn't always last, Dr. Urie. And now your childhood love doesn't even remember you."

I didn't understand anything she was saying. Everything sounded unfamiliar and foreign, as if she was talking about someone elses life, not my own. It sounded nothing like me. I didn't love Brendon... or... did I? I wasn't quite sure what love was, and I'm still not...

"She will."

"What a poor man you are. This girl is going to die in two days, if she doesn't, she's going to be here for the rest of her life, until she does die! And you will be kicked out of this hospital, never to be coming back. Not even to visit your little girl. Your stuff has been packed away and moved to the cab that is awaiting you outside. Too bad I'm not generous enough to let you have a proper goodbye," she smiled sickly sweet.

"I'll never let you take her away from me. Not again," Brendon growled, pulling me quickly away from the lady. I gasped and clung to his arm childishly.

"Brendon Urie, you get out of this room now and leave the girl before I call security," she hissed evilly.

Brendon shook his head and hugged me again. He was too stubborn, even for that stupid lady. I looked into his eyes, though he wasn't looking into mine. I could tell what was going on in his head. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to be with me, he didn't want to leave. He didn't want to get in trouble yet he didn't want to leave me behind. But in the end, love is more important than any stupid law.

It wasn't long before the security guards came rushing into the room. They all looked pretty angry and they had a quiet word with the lady before advancing onto Brendon. They grabbed me and him and tried to pull us apart. I kicked behind me at full force and when I hit something and heard the man groan, I knew I'd hit him where it hurts.

Brendon was struggling to keep his grip on me but he tried his hardest. The stupid guards were about to seperate us, but Brendon pulled me closer, and before the guards could do anything he pressed his lips to mine...

Everything came back to me in a quick rush. I remembered who he was! I remembered everything that we'd ever done as children, and noticed that what the evil lady had said about us running away was true. I remembered that Brendon was the love of my life, and nothing was going to change that, no matter how mentally ill I was, no matter how many walls were between us, no matter how far away we were. We'd figure something out.

The guard that I had kicked took a hold of my feet and pulled me down. I was kicked in the head a few times, causing excrutiating pain... But it was nothing compared to the sight of the struggling Brendon being beaten and dragged.

"BRENDON! NO! PLEASE!" I shouted, "I LOVE YOU!"

Those were the words that had even surprised myself. It was all coming back to me... all of it.

"Dawn! I'm... I'm sorry. I'll never forgive myself," Brendon said, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Please. Please don't leave... I love you... you're my everything," I said before coughing up a mouthful of blood. I wiped the blood on my sleeve and inched forward, trying to get a hold of him. When his warm hand took a hold of mine I pulled myself towards him with all of my force. Our lips collided again in a passionate kiss.

"I won't let go. I won't give up. I'll save you. I'm not going to leave you here. And if I can't, I'll never forgive myself. If I don't come back... as they're injecting you with that shit excuse of a cure, think of me. Remember me. And maybe, just maybe, things will be okay," he whispered.

I leaned my forehead against his and said, "That's only if you don't come back. But I know you will. We were meant to be, and this isn't meant to be happening."

"I love you, Dawn."

"I can't... I can't talk... anymore..." I whispered, as my voice slipped away. I squeezed his hand tightly... Something hit my head one more time and everything went black. 


End file.
